First Days

Lyla had her first day of school on 9/3/14. She got on the bus for the very first time, and there were no tears, from her (now me on the other hand...). Lucky for me, we got to meet her at school and have a meet & greet with her teachers. She ran right into the classroom and started playing like this was a normal thing! She didn't pay much attention to anyone, even us, but played and flitted from toy to toy discovering new things everywhere she went. It was nice to put faces to names, and to see the environment she'll be in daily. She's going to love it there.

When the bus pulled up after school, she squealed with joy when she saw me, and came off the bus with a big smile on her face. I asked her how her first day at school was, and if she likes her teachers and of course she didn't answer, but I'll keep asking until she does.

After lunch she quickly disrobed and got a fuzzy blanket and laid out on the chair, all snuggled in after a morning of so many new and stimulating things.

The next day she was excited to go on the bus again, she really surprised me with how easy that new experience went. I really thought she'd have a hard time leaving without me on the bus too, but maybe because I never get on the bus, she knows I don't belong there!

We've been experience some ASD driven behaviors in her more lately. Things she didn't do a month or two ago, and a big one of those is sleep. I have the most awesome sleepers, ever. Still napping 3hrs a day and go down without a fuss at night at 7:30/8pm to sleep at least 11hrs a night. For a couple months now, Lyla has been struggling with going down easily at night. We've had to empty her room of a lot of things, and we're still learning what else to get out of there. Pretty soon it will be a mattress on the floor and that's it. This has recently spilled over into nap time as well. Which is tough, because she really needs her naps, if she doesn't nap she's passing out by 6pm...so we can't really have that. I thought for sure school would tire her out, but in her case, the over-stimulation of school is having an opposite effect. We'll figure out what is best to help her rest...it will just take time and trial and error.

Am I Wrong?

There's a song that I hear quite often on the radio, you all know it or have heard it at least once, "Am I Wrong?" by Nico & Vinz. Well I just really love this song...it holds a lot of meaning for where I am right now. If you don't know the lyrics here they are:

                                                                     "Am I Wrong"

Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way?

I ain't tryna do what everybody else doing
Just cause everybody doing what they all do
If one thing I know, I'll fall but I'll grow
I'm walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home

So am I wrong
For thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see

Am I tripping for having a vision?
My prediction: I'mma be on the top of the world

Walk your walk and don't look back, always do what you decide
Don't let them control your life, that's just how I feel
Fight for yours and don't let go, don't let them compare you, no
Don't worry, you're not alone, that's just how we feel

Am I wrong (am I wrong)
For thinking that we could be something for real?
(oh yeah yeah yeah oh)
Now am I wrong (am I wrong)
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?
(oh yeah yeah yeah yeah)

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see

If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right, right
If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right
[2x]

Am I wrong
For thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see

So am I wrong (am I wrong)
For thinking that we could be something for real?
(oh yeah yeah yeah oh)
Now am I wrong (am I wrong)
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?
(oh yeah yeah yeah yeah)

But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see

(Lyrics found at: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nicovinz/amiwrong.html )

This song can mean something to anyone who is on a "road" anywhere in their life. For me it's about all these changes with Lyla, her diagnosis, her going to preschool at 3 years old, everyday for half days, and taking a BUS to/from! So often I think of how I could have denied the pursuit of a diagnosis, and let her just "Be." but what would that do for her? Nothing but close more doors that we are trying so desperately to open! I really have no idea where this road will take us, but we're on it, and I feel like it's the right path for her and our family. I want nothing more than for her to succeed and be able to share with us all the amazing things she knows and just can't communicate to us right now. I really believe that this daily routine of busing to school and being integrated into a small classroom of her peers, along with therapy and reinforcing all this at home, will unlock some of what's holding her back. I cannot wait for these weeks to unfold. I'm so excited for the "things that I can't see!"

Tomorrow she takes her very first bus ride, and we get to meet her at school and visit with her teachers and classmates and their parents for the first hour of the day. I'm so anxious, nervous and yet, so ready. This will be her place to grow.