Lyla is Letting Us In...

Lyla has always been a "loner" playing by herself while the others play together on the other side of the room. That turned into playing alongside her siblings, with something different than them, but nearby. Recently she's been attempting to interact with them, but usually goes about it physically, and therefore not getting the result she really wants, but attention nonetheless so she continues and seems to find it funny. 

Lyla in her space.

Last night she went and got out a bag of tiny figurines, mostly Disney characters, something she's always gravitated towards. She sat down in the middle of the living room, dumped the bag and started playing on her own. Everyone else was doing their own things at this moment as well, and then Noah decided he'd like to play with the figurines too. He went over to the pile, and grabbed what he wanted and Lyla, though not playing with that particular one, didn't like that. As you can imagine, there was some yelling and grabbing and pushing. Sitting across the room, watching this play out, I knew I'd have to intervene soon, but I just witnessed Lyla using appropriate language, "No! That's MINE! Give it back!" I was sitting there, jaw on my lap, thinking; Did she really just say all that, on her own without prompting? Woah. When she started getting a little physical, swatting and kicking at Noah, I got up and we talked through it, and as much as we wanted her to share and play with her brother, Noah go the short end of the stick and went to play with something else. I can't say I blame him, If some one's kicking at me, I'm out of there.

About 10 minutes later she started making her figurines talk, or was talking to them, not quite sure because it was all jargon. But she was moving them around and lifting them in the air, it was fun to watch. Andy decided he'd try to join in her play. You see, it's not easy for us to just sit and play with Lyla, as we can with the boys and Emmalee, she typically reacts as she did towards Noah, or she'll just get up and go do something else. This time she kept playing.

Lyla letting Daddy in...

She shared toys with her daddy, even imitated what he was doing. Lyla's always had a stronger pull toward adults, so I find it quite appropriate for her to let him in, when she just had a meltdown when her brother tried to play with her. Then, as you can see from the above picture, Owen was making his way into her space. I was taking the pictures, and was sure I'd have to put the camera away and have a teachable moment about sharing with her siblings too, not just with Daddy. But I kept the camera ready just in case...and snapped these: 

She let him in, and he was touching the toys, and talking with her and Andy. It was such an amazing little moment in time, and it only lasted about 3 or 4 minutes, but in our world that's HUGE progress. She's starting to let us in, a little at a time, on her terms. We're figuring out ways in, though they may only work one time, and then not the next.

School really is helping her, she's surrounded by her peers for half of her day, and though most of her language is defensive, and frustrated, it's functional language, she's learning and retaining these phrases, and using them appropriately. I wonder what she'll say next?

Thumbs Up

Lyla has started to give me "thumbs up" daily as the bus drives off to school. I was so excited when she started doing it, she remembered something that I did to try to understand if she was happy or not with whatever it was at the time. For weeks she been doing this now and at my monthly meeting with her team I learned that they've been giving "thumbs up/thumbs down" for healthy choices and I have to say my heart was a tad crushed. Then I realized, it doesn't matter where she picked it up, it's our "thing", just ours, and whether or not she knows what it means, she connects it to our daily routine.

Parts of our routine are starting to spark some language!

Getting Lyla ready for school this morning, I put on her new diaper, 
L: "Munchee" (there's a monkey on her diapers)
Me: "Yes! It's a monkey!" (my back and forth continued like this I'll spare you reading after each one.)
Socks on...L: "Sock.....Sock" 
Pants on...L: "Mittens"
Me: "Mittens? No, these are your pants!" L: "Pants."
Shoes on...L: "Shoe...Shoe."
Stand up to put on shirt...L: "Mittens!!"
Me: "No not mittens, shirt!" L: "SHIRT!"
Lyla runs to the mirror and sizes herself up and down, "Yay!"

These things are so small, yet so HUGE for Lyla. I'm so glad she is getting all her therapies and schooling, I don't know where we'd be today without it.

Thumbs Up!

Time for Change.

This is post I wrote 2 months ago, I didn't publish it then because I was so emotional about it and really didn't think I'd be able to get past that first day. If I shared this with the handful of people who maybe read this, then there'd be an expectation for me to continue my journey...I wasn't ready to "go public" with this. But today is just over 2 months since this post, since the day that I decided to make a very important change in my life, and because I'm making progress I am ready to let it be known!

From 11/11/14 8:06pm:

It's been awhile since my blog has been about ME. I write mostly about my kids and things going on with them, and how I might feel about it...but rarely do I talk about myself.

I'm making a change, today. I want to do something about how I feel physically. I'm clearly overweight and I spend a lot of time talking about what I will one day do about it. I use a lot of excuses to why I can't join a gym or why I'm too tired to take a walk at the end of the day. I am done making excuses, the motivation isn't going to come from anyone but myself, and finally, I'm taking the first step to a healthier me.

Yesterday I logged everything I ate on myfitnesspal and throughout the day made healthy choices, and came out under my calorie goal for the day! Pretty good. Today, I made more healthy choices, by eating right, and by exercising for the first time in a very long time. I didn't just take a walk, which is exercise, and I will do that as well, but I actually put on Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred video and did phase 1 of that. It was a very emotionally and physically exhausting 25 minutes, but I did it. I made it through the sweat and tears (lots of them, ask the kids), unsure if I'll ever turn the DVD on again, but I did it. Because I actually burned some calories, I was way under my calorie goal for today, and that felt really good.

I was very thoughtful when preparing my meals today. I actually looked at the serving sizes. That's something I NEVER do. This is something that I really need to start doing regularly, and I think it will help a lot. I also gave up pop recently, I don't buy it for the house anymore, but when I go out to eat or am at a party I have a glass/can or whatever. I'm going to stop even doing that...water only...and my morning cup of coffee.

I am really scared about making these changes, I know they'll only be positive, but getting through all the hell to get to the point of starting to feel better is the scary part. It's so easy to just eat...and sit around. It's so easy to give into temptations and cravings. It's so easy not to take care of me when I can use the excuse that I'm too busy taking care of everyone else. It's so easy talking about how much I want to change but never actually doing anything about it. But today I am making the choice to make a change. I really, really hope I can stick with it.

Back to today: 1/14/15 11:23am

I've lost 16lbs and 6.5 inches...I feel better because I'm eating better and exercising. Even through the holidays I did well with how much I ate...it was very difficult to not have a few cookies here and there, but I am working so hard, it was nice to have a treat. I love food, and I am still eating what I love, just not in excess. There are days I feel like a failure, but those days come to an end, and the next day I get to start fresh. I have a small support group of ladies in the same boat as me and they are my motivation and hold me accountable, but also make sure I know I can and will make mistakes, but tomorrow is a new day. I've found a workout that I like, and I'm taking it at my pace, and just eating better. I cut out pop, but over the holidays had more than I should've! Once the parties were over, I stopped again. I'm learning good habits of eating and I'm proud of how far I've come in this short time. I have a long way to go, but I believe I will get there!

The Sweetest Sound

Lyla said her first complete and functional sentence today.

She grabbed her cup off the table, tried taking a drink from it (and yes I was watching her every move), it was empty.

Now here's where she usually drops the empty cup on the floor and goes to find another cup, and repeat until she finds water.

Today she kept the cup in her hand, walked over to me and handed me her cup, and looked at the cup, and then at me and said,

"I....want....water."

I immediately replied, "You want water? Of course you can have water! Let's go get some water!!"

She followed me to go fill her cup, and got distracted half way there by a toy camera, so I back tracked, trying to get her attention again, hoping she might say it again, but, she had already given me her want/need and just stood there waiting for me to fill her cup. Once her thirst was quenched, she dropped her cup as she remembered there were small pumpkins by the window to count and line up!

I text my mom and my sisters and Andy of course! I had to tell some one! Andy called later and I told him the whole scene as written out above, and of course I started to get all choked up. I mean, who wouldn't?!

I remember the excitement when Owen said his first sentence, it was something like "I see a turkey!" It was probably 2 years ago, and Noah, he said his first sentence a little less than a year ago, and I think it was, "I want more crackers." All were exciting, but this, this VERBAL communication is so amazing, I just can't believe she said it on her own!

I will never stop asking her how her day at school was, I will never stop asking her what she wants for lunch,  and everything inbetween, because one day, she WILL answer me back, I just know it.

Fall is in the Air...

I love this time of year! Sweaters, cozy blankets, warming my hands on my coffee mug and all the apples and pumpkins! It's mid-October so fall is really here, and our new routine of school buses and packing lunches is just a normal thing.

Seeing the littles blossoming is also exciting this time of year. Emmalee can write her numbers and letters so well now! She's doing MATH! She loves going to school so much! Lyla is doing new things as well! She's started to identify here nose, eyes and mouth! To me this is huge...just a few months ago she wouldn't or couldn't do that at all! She's also identifying pictures of monkeys! She sees a monkey and says "munchie! ooh ooh ahh ahh!" It's adorable and exciting because it's unprompted. She's copying us a lot more and mimicking a lot more words lately. I'll be meeting with her therapy team soon, and I'm really looking forward to that!

Owen & Noah are growing and changing at home. They're getting along better and play so well usually. (Right now they're in the other room screaming their faces off at each other...but you know...baby steps.) Owen's potty training, and doing really well...he's half way there! Noah's becoming more understandable when he's talking...we just have to remind him to use his "snake" sounds and slow down when he's talking.