What is this mistake I made? Well I assumed Lyla couldn't do something just because she doesn't do it for me. This is wrong, and now I know that...and I guess I kind of knew that already but I was just being a protective mommy and didn't want too much expected from her.
We were at the triplets' well visit with the Pediatrician. The nurse was conducting all of their measurements and doing hearing/vision screening with each of them. The boys went first, and then it was Lyla's turn. I told the nurse not to bother with the hearing test, and that she wouldn't be able to identify the 3 vision test cards that they showed the boys. The cards were about the size of my hand, white with a black image (and a weird-looking image too, not a friendly picture but similar to those on an actual eye chart) and were a cake with some candles, a horse (with a rider possibly) and a vehicle (the boys called it a truck). At home and in school Lyla can ID mostly animals and some foods and things like flowers and such...I didn't think she'd be able to do this.
Thank goodness for the nurse... she said "let's see what she can do..." She held up the cake and Lyla said "Happy Birthday!" "See Mom," the nurse said, "she's full of surprises!!!" I almost started crying right there. I know, it's sappy and weird to cry at a 4 year old's well visit, but she did something I didn't think she would or could do, and I almost held her back from doing it. I've probably been making this mistake for a long time. She went on and knew what the horse was "horsey!"as well.
She surprises us on a daily basis now, and does things we don't expect, and we rejoice and encourage more!! But there's often times through out the day where we just assume Lyla won't show interest, or be able to do xyz, I have to stop that. I push the other kids to try doing this or that...I should push her too...and always let her try something that I think she can't or won't do, because she is way more in tune with things than she lets on.
I realize I'm not intentionally trying to hold her back but to protect her from anxiety or frustration if she cannot do what is expected of her. A doctor visit, for example, is a very overwhelming thing for her, a lot of waiting and being in small room for all that time, and adding non preferred tasks to that, well I feared it could get difficult. She's way better at working outside her comfort zones than I give her credit for. All I have to say is, I am going to do my best to never hold her back, no matter what I think. She's full of surprises!
Here are the images...the cake and horse from the top line and the vehicle in the middle...they were on individual flash cards that the nurse showed them one at a time. |
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